Thursday, August 25, 2005

Rishyasringa (Part one)

Once upon a time there lived a sage named Vibhandaka (aka Dad). He had a son named Rishyasringa (aka Rishyasringa). They lived in the forest, meditating about nothing in particular and collecting roots and fruits (Dad! not salad again). But salad was not even Rishyasringas life's suckiest part. Rishyasringa had never seen a woman, not even his mom (yeah, thanks a lot dad).
Little Rishya: Dad, where did I come from?
Dad: "Umm, I think we are running out of firewood. Go get some firewood. Chop chop."
After awhile, Rishyasringa gave up asking questions. Mebbe his notes on social interactions of Pan troglodytes (Chimps for the non-biology nerds) had something to do with it.

Meanwhile, country of Anga was afflicted with famine.
King of Anga: "Minister, there has been no rain and there is too much bitching going on in the kingdom. We must pretend to do something. Lets have a meeting"
Minister: (Groan) "Excellent idea, your majesty"
At the meeting:
King: "Lets keep this short, I have a skinny dipping session with my mistresses in my royal pool in about 10 mins."
Courtier 1: "We could sell subsidized beer"
King: " Brilliant!"
Minister: "Er...we can't do that, in the last banquet we finished our supplies".
Courtier 2: "How about we import some beer?"
King: "No can do, I don't have the funds, I just renovated my palace what else have you got?"
Courtier 1: "Lets call Vibhandaka. He has connectins with Swarga's water department."
Courtier 3: "I dunno about him, that dude is whacko. He has a short temper. If we piss him off, which we most likely will, he will curse the living gabeegees out of us."
Smartass: "Ya mean begeesus?"
Courtier 3: "Whatever skunk breath".
King:"Okay I have 5 mins and I haven't had any executions in the kingdom recently. So speak."
Smartass: "Hmm...lets see...single father...playing social life...after all these years I am sure he wouldn't mind a little booty action."
King: "Yes, thats it! Send in the booty squad. Talking about booty, I gotta get going."
Minister:"Wow that was the most productive meeting since....oh my gosh, its a first."
Booty squad: "Oh fuck, I didn't see that coming. Girls, we might get screwed here, one way or the other"
Booty queen: "Yeah, like if we don't go, the king slays us and like if we do, Vibhandaka might put a curse on us, or worse we have to like screw him."
Booty fool: " When will my break in the Angallywood come? I am this close on giving up on my acting aspirations."
Booty queen: "Listen up bitches, we need to figure out a scheme to save our collective asses".

End of Part one.

(To be continued...)


tocsin said...

I don't mind mythology spoofs. I figured I wouldn't know what you were spoofing -- but this mythology story I do know!

And now about your potty mouth I hope there is some booty soap somewhere that you could use to wash your mouth out. : ))

Hoping for some apsaras a-dancing in the next episode.

Crystal Blur said...

Hey Tictoc,
Looooong time no write. Bah! and whats that? Ya called me a potty mouth? (Sprinkles unholy water on tictoc and utters curses:p)
And oh ya baby the booty squad will kick some sweet ass (or mebbe not).
:) Crys

Reshmi said...

sahi hai!! :P i love the take rotfl-ing @ booty-fool :D

and tocs i didnt know she was taking requests? and is this the best u cud come up with? :P :)))

bilbo said...

Dang that was too good. My religious sentiments ( do I have any) can go hang. More more and soon.

SeaSwallowMe said...

LOL @ the "like-speak" booty-squad :)

welcome back, crys !

Anonymous said...



After getting past the pronounciation of Rishyasringa...everything else was smooth sailing!


PM said...

ROTFL@De-..yeah, tried pronouncing it meself..tic toc knows the mythology story? wonder if this can be converted into a series for the "like i wanted to sooo like" generation..and whoa crystal, you've been comment spammed!

Crystal Blur said...

Thanks Resh.
LOL @ bilb's screw religious sentiments.
SSM, Hey hope things are going gr8 with you :)
Dee, Yeah I may finish writing the part2 over the weekend
Peps: Yeah, those bastards are spamming my comments. I turned the spam comment gurad on, hoping it works.
Thanks buds,
Crys :)

Doh said...

this like too much fun ! :)
great great! :)
and more please?

buckwaasur said...

bherry bherry phunny... :-)

Crystal Blur said...

Bucky and Doh,
Like thanks :)

Anonymous said...

awesome, guuuuuurl...
you raaaaaaaaaak

The New Age Superhero said...

and this started it all eh.. nice nice! :)