Sunday, June 26, 2011


Grad student 1: “One of the visiting scholars has arrived Guruji.”
Dr. Bharadwaj: “What already? I thought they were coming next week. Argh! My appointment papyrus is messed up. My son can show them around. Let’s see, what do I have scheduled for the afternoon? Here it is … some grad student’s final defense. Ah good, nothing important. I will meet the scholars in the afternoon.”

Grad student 1 runs around looking for his mentor’s son (Yavakrida) and finds Yava pestering the new grad students.

Grad student 1: “The visiting scholar is here and Guruji would like you to show them around the ashram.”
Yavakrida (groan!): “Oh alright! Where is he?”

Yavakrida grudgingly makes his way to greet the scholar.

Ramananda (R): “Hello, my name is Ramananda, I’m here to meet Dr. Bharadwaj.”
Yavakrida (Y): “Yes, I am Dr. Bharadwaj’s son. My name is Yavakrida.”
R: “Nice to meet you Yavakrida.”
Y: “No, no, you are not pronouncing it correctly.”
R: “Okay, so how is it pronounced?”
Y: “It’s Ya…repeat it after me…ya.”
R: “Ya.”
Y: “Va”
R: “Wa”
Y: “No, it’s va not wa, you have to bite your lips while saying va, unlike while saying wa your mouth forms the shape of a lotus bud. Got it? Va!”

Ganapati (G): “It’s just a friggin name. Can we move on with the story?”
Vyasa (V): “And what would you know about having your name incessantly mispronounced, Mr. No V in my name so I don’t care?”
G: “Good God, quit being so sensitive.”
V: “So as I was saying…or rather Yavakrida says.”

Y: “Va!”
R: “Wah!”

Two hours later.

Y: “Okay you can work on the va some more later.”
R (sarcastically): “Oh, you bet. In fact I will clear my evening schedule for it.”

V: “Ganapati, stop fudging my script.”
G: “I am just giving it some normalcy. I am sure some readers will identify with R’s feelings.”
V (pinching the bridge of his nose): “Just write.”

Y: Next is kree.”
R (exasperated): “Kri”
Y: “No it is kree. Listen to the pitch carefully. Kree.”
R: “Kreeeeeee.”
Y: “Okay, now it is too much. You have to rein it in a bit.”
R: “Kree.”
Y: “Good! And finally dah! You have to emphasize on the last bit, daahhhhhh!”

G: “Why do parents keep naming their kids with such complicated names? In the good old days of Ramayana, people had sensible names like Ram, Sita, Luv, Kush. Simple and beautiful. But now they have these insanely long names.”
V: “There are merits to long names. The kids learn half the alphabets just memorizing the names.”
G: “Ah! Good point.”

Y: “Put it all together and it is Yavakridaah! Go on say it.”
R (in a tired voice): “Yavakrida…”

Yavakrida gives encouraging looks.

R (taking the hint): “daaah!”
Y: “Yes! Now was that so hard? Pronouncing the name correctly, is a simple gesture to show respect for your fellow humans, wouldn’t you agree Ravindra?”
R: “My name is Ramananda.”
Y: “Whatever! The point I make is very important. It is crucial to get the pronunciation of the names exactly right.”


Rajavel said...

hahaha ! Trying doing this over phone ! its a art in itself ! I wonder how my son will recast his name !

designed to fly said...

hey can u please label all mahabharat blogs i cant find them all
they are really nice was searching for excatly this

designed to fly said...

hey once again commenting since i didnt know if last comment lets u send a reply

i was searching fr a spoof type mahabharat since i do know most of the story wouldnt want to read the complete book. this seemed amazing if u have all of it together or even 5.5 chapters forward at one place please tell send email i ll be very thankful
my email is
sorry i dont have twitter account so i couldnt reach u there

Crystal Blur said...

designed to fly,
The MB posts are labeled 'mahabharat'. You can click on the label on the sidebar to see all of them together.

Anonymous said...

@Crys .. next episode please. Whenever you get a chance, ofcourse :)

Pankaj said...

Can we expect any new chapters anytime soon?