Friday, June 15, 2007

Moral combat

I finally update my resume (one small step for me, mankind couldn’t care less). In the process I dusted off some dust-mites on my certificates from what seems like a lifetime ago. Turns out I was quite the winner growing up. My favorite certificate was for ‘bunny jumping’ when I was 6. For all the pervy pervertsons, bunny jumping is an innocent sport where kids hop like bunnies to get from point A to point B. Anyhow, I was saying that li’l Crys was quite the winner and so it was inevitable that I asked myself, “What happened?” This self-deprecating humor is killing me. Who am I kidding, of course I’m still quite the winner…solving 1024 pieces jigsaw puzzle in 3.25 days and all.

Anyway, I came across this particular piece of paper.

At the time, it didn’t strike me as anything odd but now I find it incredibly audacious of the school. Being the moral authority must be quite something. I was blissfully unaware of the fact that I was being graded for morality in addition to math, science and stuff. It is pretty amazing that we were expected to behave morally even before we understood the concept of morality. The least the school could do was hand out a book of moral codes …wait they did pawn off some mini bibles to us.

But all said and done, I am a certified moral person. In fact, I have decided to carry my character certificate with me. Next time a traffic cop pulls me over for speeding, it will be his word against mine and little would he know that I have a small piece of paper that would undeniably prove that I am right and he and his little speed gun gizmo is wrong. A moral person would never lie and if I say that I wasn’t speeding, that has to be the truth because I am a certified moral person. In your face cop! Burn!! He should know better than pull over a moral citizen. The only loophole in this plan being that the cop has a character certificate. But as far as I know, Americans don’t hand out character certificates. So ha!


Patrix said...

Congrats on your moral character :) now we know your school probably didn't ban girls and boys from touching each other.

Joy Forever said...

Er... wasn't it a 1026 piece puzzle?

Crystal blur said...

Ban touching!? Yikes. I knew one college in the suburbs of Mumbai (Bombay if you prefer) where the boys and girls were not allowed to sit together in the library. There were separate sections for boys and girls. I was appalled.

Joy forever,
My is 1026. Galti se mistake ho gaya.

Anil P said...

The moral of the story :)

I remember it on my certificates as well.

dodo said...

Hehe... bunnies always remind me of Renee Zellweger from Bridget Jones's Diary :)!

And 1024 is much cooler than 1026. 1024 = 2 to the power of 10. 1026 ke paas kya hain?

I had once taken this online 'morality' test based on religion and stuff. It said that I'm pretty close to getting burned in hell :).

Joy Forever said...

My school was called "Boys' High School" which was, oddly, co-ed in class XI and XII. Although there were no rules as such, we were discouraged from sitting next to girls. During the lunch breaks the girls stayed indoors and we were forced to go out and play. And heaven save any boy and girl found talking after school... they would hear such a lecture from some of our teachers that they would prefer never talking again!

Drunken Master said...

I remember not being able to pay my fees at college because my school hadn't given me my character certificate along with the school leaving one. Had to pay a fine because I was a day late.

Funnily, my character was never in question (back then, that is), only my smarts (which is still in question).

TP said...

I think its a great idea to be objective about such things as character. You know, why leave matter as crucial as character, benevolence to the random whims of random public. One authority school/priest-dom/govt/brothels may be a jury of all, deciding how benevolent someone is ... :D


Murga said...

Was your character so bad that the principal refused to sign your certificate? Notice it is signed with sd/-

Or does this reflect on character of the principal?

Fleiger said...

Well, updating your resume is a process which takes time which is completely unrelated to the number of changes in the end product.

Errr... do we dare ask why did you need that character certificate?

another brick in the wall said...

i never got tht :(

Twisted DNA said...

"eing the moral authority must be quite something."
Well said.

Don't be too happy your "good character" report though. Apparently they routinely give it out. Even I got a "good" on my character. Apparently, shoving pins up other boys' shorts or sending "you are ass" anonymous notes to principal are not considered a bad character.