Monday, March 12, 2007

Ba-bull (Rated F for frustrating)

Curse you “Academy of motion pictures” for recommending this movie to me. I should’ve looked at the reviews on rottentomatoes.com to temper my expectations before renting out this movie. I write this review to warn readers and lower their expectations if they ever decide to watch Babel. For those of you who have already suffered through it I am sorry I couldn’t get this review to you any earlier.

First of all stop making movies that don’t have story lines that go in a chronological order. Memento was awesome but after that it just got annoying. In addition to the chronological distortion this movie follows 3 stories. My suggestion here is, pick one story…preferably the one with Brad Pitt and explore it instead of bombarding the audience with bits from 3 stories like water drops of a Chinese torture tactic. I followed the catastrophic developments in the movie only to be left with questions like what did the Japanese girl write in the note she gave to the cop? Did the cop that got shot by the kid in Morocco survive? Why did I rent out this movie?

Sparks of profundity gets lost in unnecessary images of Cate Blanchett peeing and incoherent time travel. But the most disappointing thing of all was that not once did Brad Pitt remove his shirt. I mean come on! They are trapped in the middle of the desert with no air-conditioning. It is only natural that Brad Pitt goes topless. If not the desert heat then the desperation of the character would make him rip his shirt in frustration. I don’t know what the writers were thinking. I mean here was an opportunity to explore Brad Pitt’s abs…er character and they abandon that only to explore some Asian school girl fantasy. Bunch of perverts! And then they want us to buy that a pussy flashing school girl can’t find a horny teenager to have sex with? The script is totally unrealistic. I give it two thumbs, two middle fingers and six toes down.

8 comments:

Cruel Intentions said...

And where do you go for Hibernation? Would like to accompany htee. Heard it's a very intellectually profound experience, After all .. Mahabharata came from there

another brick in the wall said...

hahahaha! ths was the best review of any movie ever!

i did watch babel.. it was alrt i felt.. haha.. but i this was some crucification of the movie yaa! too good :)

Fleiger said...

According to mw:
Ba·bel
Pronunciation: \ˈbā-bəl, ˈba-\
Meaning: a: a confusion of sounds or voices b: a scene of noise or confusion

Still you didn't anticipate that?

Crystal blur said...

Cruel,
I would replace the word Mahabharata with 'peer reviewed scientific publications' in your comment ;)

ABITW,
Okay first thing first...never got any money in the mail from you...not even the monopoly kind. Ek no. ka fraud! You pocketed all the money you collected in my name!! Will send Vanar sena to take badla.

fleiger,
Kya karoo...Brad Pitt ko cover pay dekh kay my reasoning skills short circuited.

another brick in the wall said...

yeh kay ke allegations? ek toh paisa jama karo phir aapko mail karo.. itna sab kaam kya phokat mein hota hai kya.. mere bhi bacche honge.. meri bhi ek din biwi hogi shaayad.. u kno how expensive life is becomin yaa.. thoda toh mereko rakhna pada yaar mere future ke liye.. bbaki sab mein imandaari se mail kiya hai aapko... aagey aap jano aur woh postman jaane :P

Kausum said...

Brad Pitt is taken, do you want Angelina Jolie to be at your doorsteps giving you a Lara Croft treatment. :) It could be a Fatal Attraction

Crystal blur said...

ABIW,
I am going to set up my own virtual donation peti for all the virtual money that my virtual readers will donate. So that I am not ripped off again in the name of virtual wife and kids :p

Kausum,
Brad Pitt is already stolen goods. He was married jab Angie ne uspe dorey daaley. So it's all fair game. Anyway mujhey kaunsy shaadi karni hai us sey. Just eye candy :)

mandeepsg said...

I definately liked ur review more then the movie....