Tuesday, June 09, 2009

The Tale of Mrs. Fuddle-Dud

There was a 20-something chap called Vettickanakudy,
A dingy university apartment dweller and a bit moody.
He ate oodles of noodles,
Drew questionable doodles,
For a cruddy crap major chose he.

He drank gallons of tea,
Slurp slurp slurp went Vettickanakudy.
One day he sat feeling quite blue,
Under a lamp that cost just 2 smackaroos.
The tap leaked drippity drop,
The clock chimed tickety tock,
Just then Vettickanakudy thought,
He heard a hissy hiss no doubt.

Following the hissy hiss sound,
His eyes circled the room around.
And he spotted 6 legs in a hurry,
Crawling out of last night's putrid curry.
“Pudding and rotten curry, my what lovely treats,
I wish I had 6 hands instead of 6 feets."
Thus misspoke the owner of the hissy hiss,
Scurrying and scampering amid the messy mess.

“Why Mr. Creepy Roach,
That’s awful rude of you to encroach!”
Said Vettickanakudy now quite annoyed,
To find a Periplaneta Americana by his side.
Startled the roach lost its footing,
Down tumbled all the scrumptious pudding.
“Clearly you are the one to apologize,
Sorry Mrs. Fuddle-Dud would suffice.”

“Hey! You’ve been mooching off me since January end,
I saw you peeking and hiding under the cabinet bend.
If anything, you owe me apologies and monies,
For hogging my space and eating my macaronis.”
“It’s your own fault Mr. Vettickanakudy,
For leaving scrumptious snacks for a 6-legged foodie.
So now again I demand at once,
Say you are sorry for being a rude dunce.”

“Alright Mrs. Fuddle-Dud you make a good point,
I do have a habit of running a messy joint.
But before I go into a lengthy extenuation,
A teeny question precedes my self flagellation.”

Distracted by the big words Vettickanakudy used,
Mrs. Fuddle-Dud got a little confused.
“Can you tell me Mrs. Fuddle-Dud what’s the pixel size,
Of your peering dark globular black compound eyes?”
“Now that you ask, I must confess,
The compound eye resolution is a bit of a mess.”

“Well that explains why you did not see,
The red can of whoop ass lying just by me.”
Down came the mist, choking and all,
Vettickanakudy waited for the imminent fall.
Falling on her back with the slightest thud,
That was the end of Mrs. Fuddle-Dud.

12 comments:

Divya said...

:D now this type of poems I like :D

Crystal blur said...

Thanks Divya :)

Joy Forever said...

Ha ha! Funny poem. I love the illustration too... the expression on the face of the clock is so cute!

Crystal blur said...

Hey thanks, the sketch took extra effort b'coz of my malfunctioning corel software...but it came out okay in the end :)

Drunken Master said...

Sorta like Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes...

Crystal blur said...

Revolting rhymes is brilliant...after you mentioned it I looked it up and am reading the poems frantically...my favs so far are "The crocodile" and "Mike Teavee". Dahl's Red riding hood is awesome!

I was inspired to write a poem bcoz currently I am reading Annotated Alice...I missed out on a lot of great reads growing up but it is never too late to catch up.

Crystal blur said...

Oh and I also watched Sweeny Todd :)

Joy Forever said...

That's odd! I bought "Alice in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass" for my nephew this Sunday, and was so impressed by a statue of Alice in Central Park that I wrote a blog about it. :-)

Drunken Master said...

Isn't The Crocodile from Dirty Beasts?

The twist in Three Little Pigs is amazing too!

Have you read The Wind in the Willows?

Crystal blur said...

Joy,
What a co-incidence! In fact I was planning to write a post on Annotated Alice...I will check out your post.

DM,
I found a site that has poems by Dahl from different publications. Goldie Pinklesweet was da bomb! ROTFL.

Drunken Master said...

Ah, you should check out the books from your local library.

The Wind in the Willows is another childrens book, not by Roald Dahl, but still really good, since you're catching up on stuff you should have read but didn't.

Crystal blur said...

Okay, I will look for Wind in the Willows.