Yavakridaaa

Grad student 1: “One of the visiting scholars has arrived Guruji.”

Dr. Bharadwaj: “What already? I thought they were coming next week. Argh! My appointment papyrus is messed up. My son can show them around. Let’s see, what do I have scheduled for the afternoon? Here it is … some grad student’s final defense. Ah good, nothing important. I will meet the scholars in the afternoon.”

Grad student 1 runs around looking for his mentor’s son (Yavakrida) and finds Yava pestering the new grad students.

Grad student 1: “The visiting scholar is here and Guruji would like you to show them around the ashram.”

Yavakrida (groan!): “Oh alright! Where is he?”

Yavakrida grudgingly makes his way to greet the scholar.

Ramananda (R): “Hello, my name is Ramananda, I’m here to meet Dr. Bharadwaj.”

Yavakrida (Y): “Yes, I am Dr. Bharadwaj’s son. My name is Yavakrida.”

R: “Nice to meet you Yavakrida.”

Y: “No, no, you are not pronouncing it correctly.”

R: “Okay, so how is it pronounced?”

Y: “It’s Ya…repeat it after me…ya.”

R: “Ya.”

Y: “Va”

R: “Wa”

Y: “No, it’s va not wa, you have to bite your lips while saying va, unlike while saying wa your mouth forms the shape of a lotus bud. Got it? Va!”

Ganapati (G): “It’s just a friggin name. Can we move on with the story?”

Vyasa (V): “And what would you know about having your name incessantly mispronounced, Mr. No V in my name so I don’t care?”

G: “Good God, quit being so sensitive.”

V: “So as I was saying…or rather Yavakrida says.”

Y: “Va!”

R: “Wah!”

Two hours later.

Y: “Okay you can work on the va some more later.”

R (sarcastically): “Oh, you bet. In fact I will clear my evening schedule for it.”

V: “Ganapati, stop fudging my script.”

G: “I am just giving it some normalcy. I am sure some readers will identify with R’s feelings.”

V (pinching the bridge of his nose): “Just write.”

Y: Next is kree.”

R (exasperated): “Kri”

Y: “No it is kree. Listen to the pitch carefully. Kree.”

R: “Kreeeeeee.”

Y: “Okay, now it is too much. You have to rein it in a bit.”

R: “Kree.”

Y: “Good! And finally dah! You have to emphasize on the last bit, daahhhhhh!”

G: “Why do parents keep naming their kids with such complicated names? In the good old days of Ramayana, people had sensible names like Ram, Sita, Luv, Kush. Simple and beautiful. But now they have these insanely long names.”

V: “There are merits to long names. The kids learn half the alphabets just memorizing the names.”

G: “Ah! Good point.”

Y: “Put it all together and it is Yavakridaah! Go on say it.”

R (in a tired voice): “Yavakrida…”

Yavakrida gives encouraging looks.

R (taking the hint): “daaah!”

Y: “Yes! Now was that so hard? Pronouncing the name correctly, is a simple gesture to show respect for your fellow humans, wouldn’t you agree Ravindra?”

R: “My name is Ramananda.”

Y: “Whatever! The point I make is very important. It is crucial to get the pronunciation of the names exactly right.”