Monday, November 28, 2005

Vyasa's dissertation

Vyasa did his graduate studies on fictional literature and it was time he did what he had procrastinated for as long as he could. He had to write the dissertation. It was going to be long and detailed with three key elements romance, action and a happy ending. Soon the complicated plot was brewing in Vyasa’s head and he finally wrote the first draft. Vyasa realized he could get a great publication out of this and decided to contact some publishers.
He tried his luck with the most famous publisher at the time, Brahma. Brahma listened to the plot.
Brahma: “The plot is okay. But considering you don’t have any prior publications it would be a great risk on the publishing company’s part.”
Vyasa: “I am willing to do this free of charge. All I want is my dissertation read. I want my work to reach out to people. You know...the publish or perish rule. I don’t care for money. I wouldn’t be going to graduate school otherwise you know.”
Brahma: “Okay but you still haven't written the book. I can’t make any promises without looking at the final version.”
Vyasa: “Well that’s another problem. My advisor wants me to work on all these other projects and I can’t find time to write the book. I was hoping that you can provide someone to write the book for me as I narrate it.”
Brahma: “I generally don’t do this but the booty squad in your draft has intrigued me. So here is a number of somebody who owes me a favor. His name is Ganapati. He may be a little difficult to work with but that’s all I can offer.”
Vyasa: “He couldn’t be worse than my advisor. I will come by when the book is done.”

Vyasa calls Ganapati.
Ganapati: “Hello?”
Vyasa: “Hello this is Vyasa. I am looking for somebody to write a book for me. Brahma said you would be willing to help me out?”
Ganapati: “That depends on what your book is about.”
Vyasa: “The two main pillars of the book are sex and violence.”
Ganapati: “So when do we start?”

And so it came to pass, the great epic called Mahabharata.

(To be continued...)

38 comments:

in search of IQ said...

really funny, awesome, keep it up!

aruna said...

haha! I liked the way you thought abt this....u probly got too much frustrated with your advisor/ thesis..lol

some credits to Ginkgo, where i found this link

Vivek said...

My visit was long due: procastinated it forever; but I see a great beginning, and lets see what follows:)!

Manish said...

And I am pretty sure you musn't have read Gita, leave alone Mahabharat.

Crystal blur said...

Hey Phoenix and Vivek...thanks :)

aruna...lol @ frustrated with advisor....I would say every graduate student I have met so far is/has been frustrated with their advisors. I actually thank my lucky stars to have a cool advisor. :)

As for you Manish...I am pretty sure you have never read a spoof, let alone have a sense of humor.

-Crys

arjuna said...

I am laughin my ass off...with this...

Nishant said...

real jazzy modern interpretation of mahabharata's history

d_grail said...

awesome...

PSB said...

Oh geez, havent stopped laughing. Awesome stuff!!!

I've drawn attention to your blog among peers. Hope thats ok

Cmreddy said...

cool stuff.. you inspired me to start blogging. are you by any chance completing rajajis work this way?

Alpha0 said...

Amazing work.
I have posted a pointer at my blog ( Geek Heads ). Any probs?

--Alpha0

abhi nahin to phir kabhi said...

What a great read! Are you this funny in real life too, if you are then I think it is awesome.
Keep at it, great going.
Hope you will have your eye already on few other epics, to start with after this is done. I would hope this blog goes on even longer than the megaserial on the same epics.
Cheers,
Abhi

Tamal said...

Have you read "The Great Indian Novel" by Shashee Tharoor... Seems to be the pun, et al & the Mahabharata theme are not really original on your part :) But surely I applaud the effort...

tabs said...

great story telling technique.

viz said...

awesome stuff finished all chapters at one go !!
when's the next one comin ??

Sanjeeva said...

Creative one.

dogmatix said...

This has to be one of the funniest blogs floating around today. Laughing, laughing...dying!! Hilarious, way to go Crystal.

Abhishek* said...

You have written a parody. I hope you have not forgotten that amid the clamor of claps. A parody presupposes the existence of something worthy of being made a parody of. It's the incongruity of these characters with contemporary ideas and language that make your 'story' funny for those who have extremely limited sense of humour.
Just change the names of your characters and see how hilarious your story remains. And people have already done what your are doing 100 times in hindi that we dont speak in decent circles and what they produce is even more funny for people who like this type of humour.
I see glimpse of psychological insights and a good writing ability in your posts. If you dont think you have exhausted yourself, you might think of creating something much better, something that stands of its own, something of independent value.

Siri said...

this is real cool stuff...waiting to read more :).....attaboy!

zubin said...

This is gr8...This is something like the Great Indian Novel..but just looks funnier..waiting for the continuation.

Ahneesh said...

Hmmn..
Came in here on the reco of a friend and am not disappointed by ur blogspot...
I am reading ur blogs sitting in office and my manager is gonna kill me for this but i cant help..
I am hooked :-)

Ahneesh said...

great going...
U can keep ppl hooked with some good n interesting story telling...
Ever considered writing short stories n stuff like that

Abraham Menacherry said...

good stuff. You may be interested to read the book "The Great Indian Novel" by Shashi Tharoor which has a very similar theme.

Abraham Menacherry.

srishti said...

Hmm its interesting and as everybody say hilarious too.. But are u writing all this for fun! Plz dont cook up from something little that you know.
This can ruin the thousands of years of faith we Indians have!
Plz write what something interesting and funny that's popped from ur own brain!
Truly Mahabharatha is a great epic and lets try and restore its roots for the comming generations!

Mr. S. S. Singh said...

Hey..dont u update this ever..or u have started some other blog. if u have started some other, please send me the link at singhsssingh@rediffmail.com

thnx n regards,
SSS

sun4none said...

hey blur... am on this page for the zillionth time.. just cant get enough of it! really awesome stuff man! simply awesome! hav fwded this link to virtually EVERYONE i know and everyone just loves it! unbeatable! :D

PrateeK said...

ummm well no words to praise this, keep it up!!

Mahesh.T said...

hi...its very amusing....Good!!!

SmokerJoe said...

have just started and it's already sounding quite interesting. i m sure i'll read it completely and enjoy it.

Andy said...

Well there is nothing i can say that hasn't already been said.. Just a word of encouragement .. Its good shit so keep it up

Sri said...

Hi

Did you complete the story btw?

Shrawan said...

lol.. it is time a spoof on mahabharat came out... good thing u started it.. but i hope u have the tenacity to finish it (the serial on DD took more than 10 years to complete and I won't be surprised if it is stil running.. lol),.. interesting thing i noticed here is that sony had to retract the existing copies of littlebigplanet over claims that the verses used in a song for the background music was taken from koran and could offend muslims.. i do not know wat lines wer taken but seems like we can draw parallels to this spoof on mahabharat including ganesh.. but wat do we care.. anything that makes us laugh is good.. lol

aettokotha said...

hey .... it was fun readin ur post...waiting for more..thanks to the frnd who gave me this link...

write more....

Kartik Trivedi said...

lady...as soon as I finishing with few good things at hands (exams), i will be thinking to make a small amateur movie out of it....girl u r awesome... we will work out on your copy right etc...

Krishna Udayasankar said...

Loved the MbH series. May I link to your blog on mine: http://govindashauri.blogspot.com

Would be hazaar pleased if you returned the favour, but its totally optional. I had such a good laugh, that I'd love to link to your work anyway!

RAJESH said...

awesome writing boss..............kudos to your thinking level

Sairam said...

Oh, dear! I have started a MahaBharath series - MahaParatha reheated at my blog.

I searched Google for I needed some info on the epic and landed in your spoof series.

Funny how great people think alike or jobless bloggers think alike. Anyway great post

Check out mine and let me know how it is :)
http://funny-side-of-life.blogspot.com/search/label/Mahaparatha%20Reheated

Ashwini Damani said...

For comparisions of Mahabharata with Modern Day world, check out my site

www.goldensilt.blogspot.com

Some recent posts include, is Anil Ambani akin to Duryodhana, Manmohan Singh's chirharan etc