I wallowed in the darkness of a doughnut deprived food dungeon. Oh the sorrow! Drowning in my grief I roamed the grocery isles. How much longer will my cholesterol-starved arteries have to go on like this? I guess it was that day that the food gods decided to have mercy on me.
There it stood glowing in the gold rimmed bucket. It was the pot at the end of the rainbow. Haagen-Dazs Bailey’s Irish Cream ice cream. My taste buds had a mini orgasm right there in the grocery store. Oh the tease!
$5.99 for 1 pint? That’s a steal! I was too afraid to touch it, what if I was hallucinating this? I quickly pounced on the box and checked out of the grocery store. Drove home furiously and popped open the lid.
I felt like I had to do some ritualistic sacrifice before I could touch the pristine ice cream surface. It was time for the kill. The ice cream scoop caved into the depths of the sugar ecstasy and I piled on 3 huge dollops into the bowl. I finally let the first spoonful melt on my tongue and a dramatic play of spit fountains overtook my mouth. A small step in the dessert section was a big step for womankind.
As I sank into sugar coma I thanked the food gods from the bottom of my taste buds.