Thursday, August 31, 2006

Noisy neighbors

Remember the scene in Jurassic park when the electric power shuts down followed by the disappearance of the scapegoat. Then it starts, the water in the puddle has ripples building in it as the earth shattering thuds of footsteps get louder and louder. Now imagine that the T-rex lived in the upstairs apartment and he likes to stroll in his apartment from mid-night until 2am. Can it get worse? You bet your brown ass it can. It so happens that this T-rex lives with a She-rex and they also happen to be nymphomaniacs. Let me put it this way…for once I am glad that guys come fast. Who has sex 7 days a week anyway?

How is it that people who don’t sleep until 4am always wind up renting out the apartment above you? And god-forbid they ever decide to go out of town for a weekend. Why that would mean I might get a full 8 hours of sleep. They can’t let that happen.

Brilliant ideas that have backfired:

I have stuffed my window panes with some padding so that they don’t have space to vibrate every time T-rex decides to take his mid-night stroll. That hasn’t toned the noise down as much as I had hoped for.

I have tried politely requesting T to tone down his midnight activities to no avail. When that didn’t work I knocked on the ceiling once with a broom. As if that was supposed to be some knock-knock joke the prick bangs back on the floor! I am not trying to have a rendezvous you dumbass.

I considered calling the cops on him but the guy is walking around in his apartment. They can’t charge him for walking in his apartment at insane hours…could they? So unless he starts playing loud music the cops aren’t going to show up.

Wrote a letter to the landlord. I don’t know if the management cares enough to intervene.

I was seriously contemplating to move my bed into the living room. The sleep deprivation is getting to me.

I thought about leaving bunny slippers at T’s door. Knowing him, he would buy me ear plugs. Earplugs would keep me awake because they are uncomfortable and I am always afraid somebody might break into my house. So I can’t wear them and sleep as I will be lying awake in bed, wondering if somebody is trying to break in and I can’t hear them. So ear plugs were out of question.

I researched sound sealing options. Sound proofing the ceiling would mean overhauling my ceiling or T’s floor i.e. not happening.

The only other thing left to do is buy one of those white noise machines. I really doubt that ocean sounds are going to be any competition for T’s midnight tubthumping.

As I lay away in bed I curse the construction people, management and T-rex: Haraaam zaaadeeeeyyy!


sun4none said...

abey.. switch apartments with him!

and c'mon man.. broom tapping.. let the man do it in peace.. at least someones happy these days :P

Crystal blur said...

So you have chosen the dark side :p
I just moved to this apartment a month ago and anybody who has disassembled and re-assembled IKEA furniture knows what a pain in the ass it is. So don't you ask me to switch.
And as far as "at least somebody is getting it", he needs to get it before mid-night :)

sun4none said...

hehe.. okay.. ur stand justified! :D

@m@r said...

hehe .. funny :D .. reminds me of Mr. Heckles!

Cruel Intentions said...

Eh, how about luring the She-Rex elsewhere, usually the T-Rex follows....

Amalesh said...

Ha ha... I've been there. Not on an everyday basis, but a couple times a week.

All you can do is hope that his lease expires and management is mean enough to him that he does not renew his lease. Other than that, and of course occassional tapping on the roof with the broom saying, "Hello, How are you?, I know you dont care, but I exist and hear you having sex (and if you dont get it, then your angry midnight walk)!!" there is nothing that can be done...

blogfanatic said...

A few more ways you can get the noise to stop:

1. Interrupt the guy when he is in action a few times. He might as well end up looking for different options. Ex: Knock and flee if that’s not too hard.

2. Try speaking to a few folks in the apt and find out if there is anyone at all in the apt who hate him for other reasons. Gang up with them and give the guy a piece of ur mind.

3. You option of moving into the living room sounds purrrfectly feasible.

4. An option you won’t like: Bond with the guy. Make him understand. Obviously he doesn’t give a damn bout u coz ur first request went unnoticed.

@Guys come fast thingie - :-P

@ He shud get it b4 midnite – Horny men and raging bulls. What can I say?! :-D

Fleiger said...

And that's why you rent an apartment on the topmost floor...

BTW, ocean sounds? Did T-Rexes live near oceans? Though their night activity will be beach-worthy.

Deeps said...

Hmm I know what you mean ;-). You can try playing some soothing music in your room (preferably with speakers than with headphones). That way the noise above will be muffled, but you can still hear the burglers if any :).

Crystal blur said...

You can be sure that I will not be leaving anything for T-rex in my will :p

hmmm...a she rex trap eh? Me likey.

Ah! You feel my pain. I will keep up the broom banging;)

I shall continue with my shotgun approach. If that fails I will invest in a shotgun.

funny you should say that b'coz I actually had that as a moral of this blog.
THe white noise machine makes a constant background sound (like say jungle or beach)to drown the unwanted sounds.

The footfall noises are ridiculously loud. If I turn up the volume high enough to drown the foot thumping, the neighbors I share a wall with might call the cops on me :)
I have actually started sleeping on my couch with the TV on until 2am and then crawl back to bed :(

parikrama said...

Majhey ek aik.. tyaa Ganapati Bappa kade saakde maag ki "T-Rex ka kuch intezaam kar.. Badley mein I will stop doing your tingle tawwali" . See how the problem gets resolved automatically in 11 working Mangalwaar's ;-)

Tachyoson said...

maybe you could use voodoo dolls?

orr... loudER music?

you could take the apartment above T or maybe thump around when they are quiet ?

Murga said...


Ooooh so there are working and non-working mangalwaars too?

Cruel Intentions said...

Well if your T-Rex believes in Cold Mountain, you can think about luring with another T-Rex

Just Mohit said...

Play REALLY loud music when they start doing it...and something that's sure to piss them grunge rap or stuff!