Friday, April 27, 2007

Battle of the bulge

Battle of the slight case of bulge really. I have done the unthinkable…okay not unthinkable ‘coz I have thought about it alright…so the undoable. When the choice is between vegging out on a warm cozy couch and a sweaty painful workout it is not much of a choice. Couch always wins no contest. But lately with my low stress high fat diet I have packed on a few pounds and as a result have ended up with a slight case of bulge.

Day 1:
I went to the gym expecting to be mocked for my slight case of bulge. I prepared myself for the unforgiving stares from the Greek gods and goddesses in the gym. But instead, like they showed in a Friend’s episode, I was greeted by a cute Dan who gave me a tour of the gym. It was a pretty big gym with lots of machines with names such as butt buster. After the tour I decided to go for something simple like a run on the tread mill. After some feel good exercises, I left home feeling pretty darn good.

Day 2:
Somehow ended up in a kick boxing session…still haven’t figured out how I talked myself into it. So I was in one of those rooms with mirrors for walls. They are built such that you can view your problem areas in all possible angles. In addition I end up standing besides one of those perfectly athletic bodies (so that you can compare yours with theirs) on my right and a much older woman (to rub your nose in shame with their stamina) on my left.
The instructor yells, “Now do the boxer’s shuffle”.
I tried to do the shuffle with two left feet.
Me: Alright just don’t fall ‘coz nobody is going to miss it with the mirrors.
Instructor: Now punch and hook and kick.
I am making all the right moves but they turn out such that in comparison, a penguin’s waddle would look more graceful.
Instructor: Hook, punch, power-kick.
In Eric Cartman’s words, “you are breaking my balls here”.
But I will not quit! I will persevere to the end of this session…please let it be a 15 minutes session. Body refuses to co-operate 20 minutes into the session. I walked to the side while the rest of the class (including the much older participant) is just getting warmed up. WTF!
Alright this is embarrassing, I cannot be the quitter. I join in. Body now in full mutiny mode.
Brain: Alright! Let’s take it one kick at a time.
Legs: Not happening.
Brain: This is embarrassing.
Ten minutes later, Buck (my dearly beloved) caved in too. So now the two of us were in the time out corner. After two more failed attempts to join the group we decided to walk out. Buck somehow found the strength to do some more exercises while I hung around feeling as limp as a noodle. Fifteen minutes later I was on my way home thinking about the long battle ahead.

Day 3: Today. #@*!


cheti said...

"They are built such that you can view your problem areas in all possible angles"

keep going there get motivated !

So you gave up / giving up on Day 3 itself !????

Crystal blur said...

It is motivating alright! :) I am not quiting, I am actually looking forward to sessions like ab attack and spintacular...but am going to stay away from boot camp.

Geetali said...

hehe.. good luck blur!

with me, i plan on going.. go for 2 or 3 days max, and then back to the normal - staring at my computer screen.

Crystal blur said...

Hey Geetali,
I think 2 or 3 days in a week is the that the muscles get some time to rebuild. I am hpoing I will continue going regularly too...I guess if there is somebody to go with it is much more fun. Hey thanks for directing all the traffic by recommending my blog. :)

Geetali said...

Hey thanks for directing all the traffic by recommending my blog. :)
how'd u find out? hehe.. yeah, i went crazy after reading only of couple of Mahabharata parts .. had to tell everybody!

Crystal blur said...

Sitemeter showed a lot of traffic from orkut, so I checked it out :)

raghu said...

hehehe... im thin :D

Ashu said...

Hee hee... sounds like how I do it also! I hardly stick around for a day or 2..

parikrama said...

According to HH Ramdevji maharaj of Aastha Channel fame you can loose 250 gms of weight by doing Kapaalbhaati Pranayam just once (or maybe in a weeks time, I forgot what he said)

Now if that isn't an easier option then I don't know what else is ?

Shag said...

"Battle of Bulge" lol where did u get that name. It was one of my favourite Close Combat Games. Didn't think someone would use it for this hehe . . .

As for me I battle my bulge by trekking in remote jungles of karnataka on almost every weekend for two continuous day.
If you wanna do that its a good idea to join a good trekking group in your city. I am aware there are lot of trekking hotspots around mumbai :))
btw the fresh air is also good for the system

The Pilgrim said...

How about joining the reality TV show, "The biggest Loser"

Crystal blur said...

I'm thin too :)...just want to be athletic.

I am on week 2 now and I think having a gym partner helps. I don't think I would go to the gym regularly alone.

Aastha channel? I think I could watch one minute of it before my head explodes :p But I don't want to lose any weight...I am working on my fitness level.

Battle of the bulge was an epic WWII battle against Germany. I;ve had a couple of horrible trekking experiences so I stay away from that. I think swimming is the best exercise to work all the muscle groups. It is not as polluted (as Mumbai) where I live so there is plenty of fresh air...I just need some good work out everyday to get the blood pumping :)

From what I have seen of the show, the contestants are so fat that they need 2 hearts to pump blood. So I definitely won't qualify.

I recently heard some really funny jokes on Sopranos so I had to share one of them...his wife is so fat that she needs her own zip code...ok maybe you'd already heard that one on the internet but it still cracked me up :)

Shag said...

Ye crys,
swimming is an amazing excercise too . . . it works for me very well, but u really have to be determined to increase your number of laps everyday . last summer I started swimming in a 50m length pool and after starting with 20 laps each day slowly and steadily following my resolve to increase laps each day i reached close to 60 Laps in a day by the end of the first month.
btw wht experiences in trekking lol ??:)

Check out some of my trekking pics at my multiply page on If you need info on safe trekking spots send lemme know and I will shoot u a list :)

Shag said...

Ohh and btw I know about battle of bulge (Reading military history is one of my hobbies)
This was the war where germany totally surprised the yanks and came close to routing them and turning the tide of the battle totally in favour of the Jerries
Are you a fan of Jerries?

Drunken Master said...

I totally know what you mean, I have a bachelor party to go to in Miami two months from today, so I HAVE to get in shape to even think of hitting on the honeys at South Beach.

Hopefully, I don't lose hope...

another brick in the wall said...

hahahahaa.. oh god.. ok so i started cycling today n thot.. lets cycle from parle 2 bandra (am assuming u r from mumbai readin ur earlier posts) so yea.. with enthusiasm i started n god it was so pathetic.. i cudnt go beyond santacruz! cycled after 7 yrs.. but ths was plain embarassing.. i just wanted 2 die whn i came home :S