Thursday, July 12, 2007

Transformers and Potter review


I felt like the story for Transformers was a well conceived idea that was aborted before it was carried to full term. The movie was a one trick pony and without the transforming there was nothing more to it. The dialogues were pitiful and the story line was predictable.

As usual the good guys came from a poorly funded lab and so had the older technology and the villains had great funding and so had all the cutting edge gizmo. The adapting morphing gibberish speaking robot on the evil side was especially cool. But in the end good conquers evil with all the set backs. Oops, sorry I gave away the ending without a plot spoiler warning. But seriously, if you didn’t know the ending before watching this movie you got to be from another planet.

Every action movie has to dabble into philosophy…the philosophy usually being science is evil. But in this one it was, humans are sadistic war mongering bastards and deserve to die but even monsters deserve a second chance except if the monsters happen to be robots that are more advanced than the transformer robots.

Then of course there is the love angle…well okay being a teenage centric movie it was more of ‘coming of age’ sexual tension. Watching the sweat covered tight abs of a (teenage) girl glistening in the sun, made me feel like a cradle robbing pervert…even though I am a non-lesbo and non-man.

Overall the movie sucked like an average Hollywood flick. So go watch it for special effects but expect nothing more.

Harry Potter and the order of phoenix:

Never compare a movie with a book (it was based on) because the book will always outdo the movie. How can any film-maker meet the expectations of a reader’s fantabulous mind imagery? The book is not limited by length, time, budget or special effects. David Yates, the director of HP 5 did a decent job considering that he was faced with the additional challenge of directing the HP movie based on the longest book (so far) of the HP series.

The special effects (as with most movies nowadays) were very well done…especially the final battle scenes. It was a good editorial decision to not drag a movie for more than 2.5 hours but the editing took its toll on the movie by making it incoherent in many parts. I can’t imagine how the people who have not read the book could keep up with the movie plot. Yet there were scenes that could’ve been vastly improvised. Especially in scenes like the one where you know who (and by you know who I don’t mean he who shall not be named) is struck by the avada kedavra curse and falls in the arch and Lupin holds onto Harry who is now squirming and screaming noooooooo…in super slow motion. Ugh!

The actress who played Dolores Umbridge was very successful in bringing out the viciousness of the character, all with a smile on her face. Luna “Loony” Lovegood was also perfect for the role. The only cast member I didn’t like was the guy who played (the new) Dumbledore. Even his walk is too hasty and unsophisticated for Dumbledore. Sheesh!

Anyhow, I was left pondering about the plot. Why wasn’t McGonagall at the ministry of magic in the final battle? In Book 5, why doesn’t Harry consort with McGonagall in Dumbledore’s absence as Dumbledore has already advised him to do that when he isn’t around or accessible? I want to end this post with a final comment which is really a general objection for all the stories with human transformation themes. Hulksters are you listening? You got to figure out what happens to the clothes during transformations. With JKR’s stories it is with Sirius, Lupin and Wormtail. When they become animals they shed their clothes but when they transform back they are never naked. Ok fine it is magic!


Drunken Master said...

Michael Bay is the son of Satan. After all he promised with Transformers, all he delivered was a kiddy movie with the humans as the prime focus. Who seriously gives a shit about the humans??? He obviously isn't man enough to come up with a legitimately good storyline about the robots and knows even less about the comics. And Megatron brought in only for what, 10 minutes??? Unfrigginbelievable!!!

Also how ironic that Jazz, given his disposition in the movie, what with all his ghetto-speak and attitude, was the first/only Autobot to die? Just like a stereotypical slasher movie.

Even "Autobots, roll out" sounded contrived. Even the super hot chick, who is actually probably not too far from what I assume is your age range, Crys and amazing SFX could not pick up this sorry excuse for a movie...

Thankfully I had a 4-day bender right after I saw that movie to drown my sorrows in...

Atul said...

Just a little nitpick... struck by the avada kedavra curse and falls in the arch and Lupin holds onto Harry...

The book never specifically mentions that it was Avada Kedavra when you-know-who fires it at the other you-know-who :). AFAIK, the book says he missed the first jet of red light, but the second one hit him in the chest... doesn't say the second green one.

I know JKR has said that he is dead and all, but with her, you just never know :). I haven't seen the movie yet, have they shown the AK curse being used on him? If that's so either they have taken a lot of license, or JKR has told them something she didn't tell us...

Fleiger said...

Well, I want to see Transformers soon, so can't comment on that.

OotP was a good movie, given the smaller nuances it covered. Imelda Staunton is a superb actress, Umbridge was all that was portrayed in the book, and some more.

Michael Gambon hasn't got the Dumbledore down, I agree. Though the scene in his office was nice.

<Self Promotion>Do read my review (and do remember to leave comment)</Self Promotion>

Crystal blur said...

Drunken master,
I was keeping a close eye on the black american soldier who is the first target of the scorpion robot in the desert. But they didn't show him to be the first one to die so I let the black guy dies first slide. I can't believe, I missed the demise of Jazz as the first of the transformer calamity!

In the movie Bellatrix says the avada curse. But JKR did say something about the 2-way mirror that Sirius gave Harry. Well we will find out soon enough.

Go for a matinee show for transformers ;) Will check out your review for sure :)

Funda-mentor said...

Hi, I have visited ur page for the first time bcos my friend recommended it to me and I now know why :) U got a pretty funny but comprehensive way of reviewing the films. I am going for Harry Potter tonite.. lets hope its ok.
I also review a lot of films , and I have a good collection of authors and if you like the blog, It would be great if u join in a cross post ur blogs on my blog. It would be great to have reviews of english films not released in india reviewed on my site. Please consider.

Fleiger said...

Will do...

And if I remember correct, McGonall is not in the Ministry fight in the book, because she is in the St. Mungo's recuperating from 6 stupefy's fired at her during Astronomy OWL exam.

Joy Forever said...

McGonagall was hit by the aurors who came to arrest Hagrid, remember? She had to go to St Mungo's, and was unable to walk without a stick even at the end of the story (I plan to see the movie tomorrow). I hated the new Dumbledore in GoF... he was running, jumping, shouting... a bit too overexpressive to be Dumbledore. Do check out my blog tomorrow for the review, and a photo of something else which you'll probably find cool! :-)

Crystal blur said...

Welcome to me blog :) About the contributing on your blog...sounds good to me. So how do I become a contributer there? You can email me at

I guess I need to brush up on Book 5 :)

Joy Forever,
Thaks for the refresher. So cool...will check out your review and photos of the moon (?) :)

Joy Forever said...

No. It's not the moon... it's a T-Shirt! Well that proves you are not a werewolf...

BadMan said...

Regarding cloths for Sirius, it is shown in the movie that he goes into the waiting room as dog and harry joins him later. In the meantime he might have changed the dress.. (probably he keeps a coat hidden there).. as it looked from his coat that he was wearing nothing inside.. (I wasnt trying to fantasize ;-) )